Sorry for not writing sooner ma! Lets say I was meandering blissfully cherishing the memories. At times like this when i miss you the most, i reminisce. Sometimes i wonder how things would have been if you were not YOU, would I still be ME!? I seriously doubt that :-)
Your upbringing is a perfect blend of the right ingredients. You know when to switch from being firm to amenable, most of all you are an epitome of compassion and selflessness. Over the years i have cleverly mastered the skills that help you to perpetually be in the state of joy and fulfilment.
But this hasn't been easy for you, well it has been far from easy for you. In my juvenile years i know i have caused you emotional pain one too many times, but if i were to guess how hard it must have been for you i would need an extra eye because you have been ever so accomodative. Today i think if i can ever be like you, and that's how far i have gone. I owe you one ma...
If i am honest, i would admit that growing up hasn't been a great experience, but for your presence in my life. Its true that i was never behind a wealthy lifestyle and so will i be for the rest of my life, i have been the prerogative of a treasure beyond materialistic obsession, i have you and all the beautiful relationships that i embraced because of you.
Oh would you tell me and and truth should it be, didn't you have 8 hands when I was young? Here i am, on my own walking on the path you once took managing the house and to my utter disbelief i find it HARD!!! Period. With a job, you managed the house (himalayan task that one) you manged us (OOOFFFF!!!!!!). Whenever i come back home from work tired and i walk into the kitchen only to find it more like a *d-i-s-a-s-t-e-r* i think about you, and i immedietely wonder if you had 8 hands that helped you multi-task with no compromise to quality. I regain this strength from nowhere and viola, the task becomes infinitesimle! :) :) Oh yes I owe you one!
What is it that makes you so strong? How were you able to endure difficult times and redeem yourself to prosperity ever so gracefully? HOW ma? I have grown old now, old enough to understand the complexities of life and life itself, time does test me every now and then and i have been fairly succesful in not giving in. Were you within me? Were you the one that would not give up? Is it the same hand i held as a toddler that has helped me cross the roads of life? Is it the same magical lap i rested which restored my craziness when i'd been down and gloomy? Was it you all along ma?
I see nowadays that we swap places, now that you are becoming a child to me, i tell you things you are not aware of and you listen to me intently with those keen eyes gleaming at me with pride and joy. Are you really listening to me or are you seeing through me ma? Are you falling in love with my voice and eyes as i speak like i used to when you tell me bedtime stories? Are you ma? :) Because i know you are not listening!! :-) and i never did too...
Would i ever change anything? Maybe! MAybe i would go back and erace all the bad memories or maybe i wont. Maybe its just meant to be or maybe not. But i know now, i feel whole, i feel at peace most of all, i feel you..... I feel you in me ma! I owe you one! :) I know you are there for me!
I may tell you or I MAY NEVER .... but This is to us! To this life together! :) Which could not be without YOU!!