Acceptance

In this long frail existence

I am, not by choice.

But while I am here,

all I seek is acceptance.

I may be wrong, that maybe right

but my mind fails to see.

Since you refused to say,

I knew neither darkness nor light.

Tell me brother and be true.

Tell me where did I falter?

I didn’t need glory or fame

I strove to be accepted, by you.

With time came a change

Too many to fathom.

I wonder if it was time,

that made us estranged.

It is only fair I move on,

and give in to life's ways.

But having come this far,

I don't know where I belong.

So in vain I set off again

to catch-up on lost time.

Hoping someday tides change and

in this oblivious bliss will I remain.

ஏன்?

துப்பாக்கி தயாரிக்கும் இனமே

நீ எங்கள் கைகளை முறித்தது ஏன்?

பேனா முனையில் உலகை காண நினைத்தேன்

ஆனால் என் உலகம் துப்பாக்கி முனையில் முடிந்தது ஏன்?

'நாம் நமது' என்ற இணக்கம் மாறி

'நான் என்னுடைய' என்ற சுயநலம் முளைத்தது ஏன்?

இந்த இறப்பையும், இழப்பின் பொறுப்பையும் ஏற்காமல்

நீ சமரச பாதையில் செல்ல மறுத்தது ஏன்?

என்னை பெற்று உணவளித்த அமைதித்தாய்

உன்னை பெற்றபின் அவமானத்தில் கைவிட்டது ஏன்?

உன் பிறப்பே உன் பொறுப்பில் இல்லாத பொழுது

பிறர் இறப்பிற்கு இரக்கமில்லாமல் பொறுப்பேற்றுக்கொண்டது ஏன்?

உன்னை மன்னித்து அரவணைக்க காதிருக்கிருக்கிறேன் நண்பனே

என் சவத்தில் அமர்ந்து நீ வெற்றி கீதம் பாடுவது ஏன்?

அன்பு இணக்கம் அமைதிக்கோர் வாய்ப்பளிக்கமாடாயா ?

இப்படியும் வாழலாம் என்று ஒரு முறை வாழ்ந்து தான் பாரேன்!

Prospect of death makes me sober

"And yet, I wake up every day to a sensation of pervading disgust and annoyance. I probably ought to carry around some kind of thermometer or other instrument, to keep checking that I am not falling prey to premature curmudgeonhood."

Christopher HItchens - 13 April 1949 to 15 December 2011
A man who never shied away from controversies and a man with an enormous affinity towards reason. Words would fathom neither his life nor his loss. Here is my humble tribute to the man who lived a life I look up to.


I intend to capture the last few words spoken by Hitchens in an interview for Newsnight. I am astounded by the straight faced answers given by Hitchens even in his crucial last moments. 'Asking the questions' - Jeremy Paxman :-)


JP - Christopher, can we start by talking about the cancer? What is the prognosis?


CH - Well, the particular form of malignancy I have is in my oesophagus, but it is metastasised as they love to say to my lymph nodes. You can actually feel one in my clavicle on my bad days anyway. And I'm afraid to at least a tiny speck in my lungs. And the prognosis for that is that, if you lump it all together and you leave out every other consideration, 5% of us live another five years. So that's not ideal. But I have a strong constitution, for example, which has served me quite well, though if I hadn't had a strong one, I might have led a more healthy life, perhaps..?


JP - But in the meantime in the old cliché, you live day to day?


CH - Oh yeah. Yes, one does. But actually who doesn't? There is however something specifically terrifying which I'm trying to oppose in my writing and my appearances about cancer.


JP - Are you terrified by it?


CH - No, I think its a superstition. One among many. And I think I know where it comes from, actually, if you'd like me to say. I mean, well, when I was a child, we were frightened by polio. It takes an effort to remember it now, but in many countries people still are. Previous generation it would have been smallpox. The heart that never gets the right rhythm. Bronchitis. TB. All these things. But none of them have the same horror as cancer's been allowed to acquire. And I think its probably because of the idea of there being something live inside you. A sort of malignant alien. That can't outlive you but does in a sense have a purpose to its live which is to kill you and then die. Its like an obscene parody of the idea of being pregnant. In fact I always feel sorrier for women who have cancer than men. For men the idea of hosting another life of any kind is sort of hard to think about. But for women it must be a grotesque, nasty version of the idea of being a host to another life. I have a feeling this is why people propitiate it with bogus cures, terrible rumours, scare stories and so on. And I've set my face to trying to demonstrate that its a malady like any other and it will yield to reason and science and that's what I'm trying to spend my time vindicating.


JP - Reason and science, but yet the word most commonly used about cancer is battling cancer isn't it?


CH - Yes. And I, again think that's a version of pathetic fallacy. It's giving a real existence to something in a sense inanimate. Real sense inanimate. It has a sort of life but not a lot. I rather think it's battling me, I have to say. It's much more what it feels like. I have to sit passively every few weeks and have a huge dose of kill or cure venom put straight into my veins. And the follow that up with other poisons too. Doesn't feel like fighting at all. Possibly resisting, I suppose, but no, you feel as if you are drowning in passivity and being assaulted by something that has a horrible persistence that's working on you while you are asleep.


JP - Does it make you angry?


CH - No, I think it makes me sober, objective. This is the best-known of our disease enemies. I am one of its many many victims. I'm probably one of the luckier ones in point of being able to have treatment and care. I'd like to prove to other people that it is not the end of everything to be diagnosed with it. In other words, yes, it can be resisted. I think I prefer resistance to battling. I didn't pick this fight but now I'm in it and I'd like to give it my best shot, and as I say, what this means to me is putting myself on the side of those men of medicine and science and reason whoa re trying to reduce it to something that is understandable, similable to reason and that will be brought under control.


JP - But the likelihood is that it will kill you?


CH - Oh well the certainty is that's what I'll die from. Yeah, some people die with cancer. I might die with it. Unless I have a heart attack which I could easily have, by the way. I'm much more likely to have a blood clot than I was before, or a stroke perhaps. But no, I mean, its the proximate cause of my death, and I'm both lucky and unlucky to know it in advance and be able to take its measure.


JP - And there will be people, and they won't say it to your face perhaps, but "Well, he smoked a lot, drank a lot!!"


CH - Yeah! That's exactly what is demystifying about it. There are also people who'd say its god's curse that I should have it near my throat because that was the organ of blasphemy which I used for so many years. Well, I used many other organs to blaspheme as well if it comes to that. Umm.. No, it is banal in that precise way. If you have led a rather bohemian and rackety life as I have, it's precisely the cancer you'd expect to get. That's a bit of a yawn!


JP - You are not an old man and you're living with the prospect of an abbreviated life. What does that do the way you think about life?


CH - Well, to borrow slightly from Dr. Johnson, it does concentrate the mind, of course, to realise that your time is even more rationed than you thought it was. And though I can be stoic in point of myself about that because everyone has to go sometime, and whatever day came that the newspapers came out and I wasn't there to read them, I've always thought, that'd be a bad day at least for me. I now have a more pressing idea of what that might be like. Anyway, that's being stoic for my own sake. But for my family its not very nice. I could wish perhaps to have led a more healthy and upright life for their sake. And that's a very melancholy reflection, of course. And then there are things I would like to live to see. I've mentioned some of them in the article I wrote on the subject. I would like to see the World Trade Centre reopened. I'd like to see Osama Bin-Laden on trial or dead. There are places I'd like to go, people I'd like to meet, books I'd like to re-read if not read it for the first time. But in a sense, that would all be true. I'd still, I hope, have these ambitions.


JP - Has it given you a mellower view of humanity?


CH - Mellower? Something about that word I don't relish. I don't know quite why.


JP - Well that's because you're a polemicist, a contrary.....


CH - No, if you like... my view is already quite stark, we are born into a losing struggle. I knew that when I was well, or thought myself to be well. We are born into a losing struggle. We are enjoined by the faithful to consider ourselves to be born sick and yet commanded to be well. The whole thing is, at best, ironic. Something meaningless or random, I don't know if I want to go that far. But its a stark existence, and for many people born in less fortunate circumstances than mine its always stark. It was stark the day till they died. This makes it starker.


JP - Does that make you regret saying or doing things?


CH - This doesn't, No. But I have had causes to regret saying things or wish that I'd said them in a different way, but that's part of the ongoing revision of being a writer. I hope. This hasn't prompted me to that, no.. Perhaps it should.


JP - You're famously a person with very strong convictions, and a very persuasive form of argument...Do you...


CH - Thank you


JP - Well, NO! That's what you do. You're celebrated worldwide for it. Do you have any sense of why you were like that?


CH - No, I don't. My parents were both people of principle. It is true. But they didn't expect to inflict this on others. I mean, it was just something they were and something they did. Something they inculcated in me, but they didn't want an audience for it, I did!


JP - Do you regret any of the targets you chose? Like...I mean, who needs to attack Mother Teresa?


CH - Oh its very important to attack Mother Teresa..


JP - WHY?


CH - Well, for the same reason that people admire her. You have to care about the millions of people who are stricken by millennial poverty. I mean poverty of the sort that its almost impossible to escape form. That was her pretended concern. Now as it happens...


JP - Well it wasnt her fault?


CH - Well by no means. You would say that,....


JP - It wasnt her fault that people were in poverty.


CH - Not in the first place, now as it happens. I could go on at length about this but summarised in one statement which I think is pretty hard to refute. The best known cure for poverty we have come up with is something called empowerment of women. If you give women control over their cycle of reproduction, you dont keep them chained to an animal cycle of annual pregnancy and so forth. And you give them, if you can add to that by throwing in a handful of seeds or some credit you'll have done very well. Nowhere where its tried does not work. You'll see in an instant Mother Teresa spent her entire life campaigning against that. She thought that contraception and abortion were morally equivalent and that abortion was murder. Now, thats not what Calcutta needs, and I thin her teachings and preachings were actually counter to the cause she is supposed to represent. It was very important to point that out.


JP - Are there any of the targets of your polemic or essay in the past that you regret choosing?


CH - No. NO, I dont. I regret only not doing more about it.


JP - You fell out with a lot of people over your support for the decision to go to war against Saddam Hussein. Do you regret that at all? Hundred Thousand people killed, maybe more?


CH - Well, to say one had no regrets would be, I mean would be abnormally unreflective, I think. No one can be other than horrified at the current state of Iraq. But I dont take the view, the glib view that is taken by many people that the casualties were all as a result of the intervention. I mean, for one thing its an outrage to the idea of moral responsibility. Last month in Iraq the Al-Qaeda forces broke into a catholic church as it happens, in Baghdad, and massacred about 50 people. People say thats Tony Blair's fault, George Bush's fault. DOnt be silly. How do you absolve the actual murderers of what they have done? Say "They wouldnt be here if we werent there!" Are you so sure? Al-Qaeda was operating in innumerable countries and was certainly present in the form of Mr.Zakawi in Iraq before we got there. I'm not gonna have it out like that, No. I also think there was a terrible misery and implosion coming to Iraq as long as it was left in the control of Saddam Hussein, plus UN sanctions that affected mostly the Iraqi people. I thought that was an impossible state of affairs. And I finally found I couldnt support any policy that involved the continuation of Saddam in power. The private ownership of Iraq, in other words by him and his crime family. I thought that you couldnt give your support to any policy that accepted that. So to that extend I'm not apologetic.


JP - But it did a lot of damage to the UK. I mean waterboarding for example, which Bush only a couple of weeks ago defended as not being torture and a legitimate means....


CH - Well. I am one of the people you are likely to meet who's been waterboarded..


JP - Everyone applauds you for your guts in that.


CH - I read with alarm and disgust the former President's... er what did he say ? "Damn Right!" or some awful .... I mean, trying to live up, it seemed to me, to the worst interpretation of himself as a Texan bigmouth. I dont sacrifice any of my internationalist or humanitarian or democratic principles in saying these principles are incompatible with the existence of regimes like that of saddam hussein, slobodan milosevik, charles taylor in Liberia and others who tony blair deserves credit for helping to get rid of. Whatever else maybe said, that must be part of the account. You didnt ask me this, you only said did I regret targets that I did pick? There are some I regret not picking. I was much too soft on Mugabe. I say it in my memoir. I claim to have had good reasons for it. I was very keen to see the end of white supremacist dictatorship in southern Africa, and I was probably soft-peddling what I knew about some of Zanu-PF, but having a good motive is not good enough a reason for doing something that was a betrayal of principle. Anyway hoping to see the end of these and others is a good reason for KBO as um.. (Keep Buggering On) if the BBC will allow it to be said.


JP - We're sitting here talking in Washington, and you have said that you felt you were born in the wrong country. Why did you feel that?


CH - Its like a question, why did I want to be a writer? Essentially unanswerable. It was more like I felt I had to rather than I wanted to. When I was in my mid teens I began to have a very strong feeling of sort of pull from the American planet, is the best way I can think of phrasing it.
Which I eventually succumbed to and now because life has to be lived forward and reviewed backwards, I do know, in order for me to become an independent self starting writer, I had to move to the US and leave England. Why, you may ask. Maybe the relative openness of it. You didnt have to pass so many approval tests as you did seem to in London.


JP - You are a polemicist. You look at our country now, with its coalition govt., Muddling along, as it has for many years, how do you feel? Could you exist there?


CH - In Britain, I have half my life to look back on, I was 30 when I left and a lot of it were formative. It is where I learnt to love literature, Anglo American is what I am. I think it a quiet nice synthesis. What do I think about the Cameron/Clegg coalition? It doesnt make me think all that much, I have to say. And for historic reasons, I joined the Labour party as soon as I was eligible to do so. I watch more the character and future of the Labour party, I still feel involved in that.


JP - Do you still consider yourself to be a Leftist? As accusations from people would be, as your waistband increased to tend to move to the right


CH - Well, they should see my waistband now, I have lost 30lbs. Well no, its such a well known script that is deserving of the name cliché, and I pin that accusations on my accusers. Thats what they are resorting to.


JP - Conflict is intrinsic to human history, and there will be further conflicts or some say it has already begun, and its the conflict between west and sort of Islamo-fascism. Do you think that is a conflict that can be lost by the west?


CH - Well, first on conflict, you're completely right. Its unavoidable and I think its desirable especially in the US. There is a huge privilege given to the word 'unity' or 'unification'. If you say you are a unifier and not a divider, you expect and you usually get applauded. I am a DIVIDER. Only division can cause progress. People say the politics of division. Politics IS division by definition. If there was no disagreement, there'd be no politics. So the illusion of unity isnt worth having. And anyway its unattainable. The conflict I see happening is between totalitarianism and free-thought i.e., between theocracy and enlightenment, and the form in which it is currently being played out, you could define this as west VS Islam but its not quite so. Within many Islamic countries there are people who have greater respect for pluralism than there are people in Britain who could censor me for criticising Islam. But roughly you describe the outlines correctly. Yes, I refuse to be told what to think of or how, let alone what to what to say or write by anybody. The first rebellion against slavery is by saying "this is man-made and its not divine"


JP - To be clear here, you are talking about the bible and the koran?


CH - yes and the Torah...All these are depraved works of man-made fiction.


JP - And in what way does saying that you find the koran laughable help the spread of reason?


CH - I think the mockery of religion is one of the most essential things. To demystify supposedly holy texts that are dictated by god and show they are man-made, internal inconsistencies and absurdities and one of the beginnings of human emancipation is the ability to laugh at authority. Its an indispensable thing. People call it blasphemy, but if they call it that, they have to assume there's something to be blasphemed, some divine word, I dont accept the premise.


JP - A lot of people in your position would take Pascal's Wager. They might say "I dont know whether I am right or wrong, but if I accept the possibility of there being a purpose and a god, I cant lose either way. Why havent you done that?


CH - I thought about it and wrote about it in my book long before I became possibly mortally sick. Pascal was a great mathematician, I think its his lowest point, called his Wager or gambit where he says rather like a huckster, "what have you got to lose? You win everything if you bet on god and you have got everythign to lose if you are wrong!" Well what does this involve if this is correct? It involves a very cynical god, and a rather stupid one, who says "I noticed you make a profession of faith and also, because I am god, I know why you did, cos it was in the hope of winning favour with me. Well thats fine, you will therefore get it. " That seems to me a rather contemptible thing and necessarily therefore to entail a rather contemptible human being who says "I dont really believe this, I have no faith, but what can I lose by pretending to god that I do, I might get a break." I mean this is pretty low isnt it? If I am surprised to find when I pass on from the veil of tears, that I am facing a tribunal, which you'd notice by the way, you are not allowed to bring a lawyer, theres no jury to appeal, this is altogether unattractive. Why people want it to be believed their god is this way, I dont know. But if I am there, I would say; "I hope you'd notice that I didnt try and curry favour, that I was honestly unable to believe in the claims by your human spokespersons. And now do I get any understanding?" And if that doesnt work, I dont know what will. But I am not gonna try anything servile. I am resolved on that point.


JP - It would be more comforting isnt it? And comfortable? To make an accommodation of some belief in a possibility of this not being the end?


CH - Well, as long as I dont have to take the words of other humans, on what are the necessary propitiations and gestures and subjections I have to admit myself to in order to qualify. In other words there are many religions all of whom say, only if I support them or endorse them, I will qualify. Well now I dont know that there is no such thing as consciousness without a brain for example. There is no such survival, I very much doubt it.


JP - Do you fear death?


CH - No, I am not afraid of being dead, thats to say. Theres nothing to be afraid of, I wont know I am dead. In my strong conviction, I wont. And if I find that I am alive in any way at all, well, that will be a pleasant surprise, I quite like surprises!! But I strongly take leave to doubt it. I cant live without fear, its the question of whats your attitude towards fear. I am afraid of a sordid death. I am afraid I will die in an ugly or squalid way and cancer can be quite pitiful that way.


JP - Thats the fear of dying and not fear of death.


CH - Quite! I feel a sense of waste about it because I am not ready. I feel a sense of betrayal towards my family and even to some of the friends who would miss me. Undone things, unattained objectives. My main fear is of being incapacitated or imbecilic at the end. Thats something to be terrified of.


JP - Bertrand Russel said "When I die my body will rot. Full stop."


CH - WHo doesnt. Well he goes on to say a bit more than that but thats uncontroversial. Nobody wants to get their old body back. I certainly the body back that I will die with. If only for us to be reunified with those who died, so that we could live and got blown to pieces for doing so.


JP - DO you think its been a life well lived?


CH - I really have to leave that to the others Jeremy, I have to. I have been encouraged in the last few months by some extraordinary generous letters, including, these are the ones that I take most to heart, from people I have never met or dont know. If they say that what I have written or said or done means anything to them, then I am happy to take them at face value, for once. I'll say "I'll take that" and yes, it cheers me up. And I hope it wasnt written with an intention of doing so. In case you are watching this, anybody, and you wonder whether to write to anyone, ALWAYS DO, because you'd be surprised by how much difference it can make. I regret not doing it more often myself.


JP - Than you very much.


CH - My pleasure!


END


....and involuntarily I wrote a note-to-self !!

one life

Its a grand show out there,

a rat race for ones that care.

With your best foot forward,

gotta show you are bothered.

For you've got a lot goin' on!

Dare you to shrug n move on!!

Try cry and plead your case,

sure as hell, you have to race.

How you wish to let go n be free,

from this fast life's agony...

dream of doin' things you love,

simple things that life's made of!!

Relish the bittersweet n evolve,

carefree of the outcome involved.

For if you don't live it your way,

you surely don't get to live it again!!!

Untitled

Often a thought comes to my mind, particularly when I interact with my wee school going cousin. How does she go about choosing her friends? What is the criteria? Is there a criteria at all? I believe every kid has a wall built around him / her and he / she is very picky as to who gets in and who clearly stays out. It fascinates me when I think about this selection and elimination procedure more so when I know my cousin is not easy to convince or win over. She surely has her mum very much within the wall and their interface is quite open and comprehensive.

Some kids have no say as to who he or she can be friends with because their parents choose friends for them and I'm not getting into the details of these poor kids lives.

I am keen about this family that recently moved into the neighbourhood possibly imaginary. The father gets transferred to a posh locality and days before the family of 3 settle down an invitation from the neighbour takes them by surprise. 'The BIRTHDAY BASH of my daughter' reads the card with flowers angels pink things and such! The father passes the card over to the mum and lets her take a call so when he gets back from work they either attend it or go out for dinner!

The mum and daughter have a look at the card and the kid is visibly nervous but the mum is trying to cheer her up with the fact that there's a dress code and they could do some shopping before father gets home! The card reads "angel from barbies's paradise" under the dress code heading. Making ideas along the journey the mum and daughter set off to the nearby store albeit the kid is still quite apprehensive about what lies ahead of her this evening. Convinced with the ideas and the shopping they head back home to prepare for the party!

When the father returns home and sees the other two are already dressed up for the party, he gently smiles, pats the kid's head and rushes in to get ready! The only person the father knows from the invitee's family is obviously the father of the birthday baby, his colleague. Hoping his daughter and he'd make some friends he puts on his best clothes and they arrive at the party place!

The daughter is now absolutely nervous but manages a smile and has her hand safely within her mum's, swinging it nervously while walking in. The father spots his colleague where the family's introduction takes place. The birthday girl "makes an entrance" and our kid's clasp tightens!! Mum gently bends over, kisses her cheek and says "why don't you introduce yourself and wish the girl a happy birthday?" as she passes a gift box to her. She takes a heavy breath and walks forward "Hi, err .... I am Khushi err.... Happy Birthday!!" and passes the gift box to the girl. She does a double take, says "Hi, thanks" and turns around to her other friends. "Soo... what's you name?" says Khushi. "Its Miss Aparna Gupta! Sorry but my friends are calling me, see you!" and the girl scoots to her mum leaving Khushi all alone in a very awkward position. But Khushi decides to scan the room and tries to break the awkwardness. As she walks around, she notices girls with angel frocks, crowns, magic wands running around, playing with each other oblivious of Khushi's presence. She goes around the whole room to see if there's ANYONE to acknowledge her existence and turns out she isn't the face one would like to make friends with. As she almost completes a full trip around the hall dejected, looks for her mum at the same place where her mum asked her to speak to the birthday girl. Khushi suddenly realises the familiar clasp and it hits her that mum went around with her all along. As her hand almost got numb, she lets go of her hand and says, "err .. Aparna was busy so i went looking for some water around the hall maa! sooo shall we go home and get some water?"

Overwhelmed, Khushi and her mum hug each other for a few moments. And the mum smiles with moist eyes and says, "Aparna seems free now, why don't you go try again?"..

She hesitates for sometime, looks around her and says "OK maa, i will try again!"

"Hi Aparna, hope you are free now. How about opening the gift box now!?"

Aparna pauses for a second - looks around - thinks - then says "What happened to your face?"

The familiar clasp again, as Khushi hears her mom say, "She has just been operated as she had upper cleft palate, and what you see are the marks which will vanish in a few months. So Aparna did you know Khushi loves barbies too?"

Aparna shouts "Really!!!?" as Khushi insists she opens the gift and break the surprise. Aparna smiles, takes Khushi's hand and playfully giggling run towards the gift box...

This is not a social message or an awareness campaign. Its the outcome of a sudden fascination to probe into a child's mind. I believe children bond unconditionally and totally depend on their intuitions alone. If parents are more open and outspoken about a lot of so called social taboos and not cook up stories to corrupt the innocent minds of children, growing up surely is fun !!

I am Indian, hence I speak in an Indian accent

As if working in a call centre was not arduous enough, being an Indian in a UK based call centre is just doubly so. Yes, I am an Indian and I have an Indian accent. I am neither proud of it nor meek. Hey, honestly I cant help it OK? Lets face it...

Intoxicated as I may be as I write this entry, my feelings towards this attitude would stay undiminished.

Life is funny, someone named 'Srinivasan Elumalai Ramachandran' says "Can you put me on to someone in London please, I cant afford to waste time with you!!" The ironies of life! So much for the strict immigration rules, for all we know I would have had a legal entry into the UK and he didnt, but such are the laws of a call centre...!! But there is no shortage of sign posts in railway stations, buses, taxis you name it that reads: "You don't go to work knowing you'd be abused, neither do we." Well, HAHA ... you are far from being fair.

Whats painful for an immigrant (who is not really happy about it) like me, is when TV commercials boast that they care about their customers by having a "UK - BASED CALL CENTRE"... A call centre is a call centre is it not? To hell with the 'UK based' part of it.... Maybe its the outburst or the dissatisfaction people have had when they phone up to complain about services like BT, LoveFilm, British Gas, Virgin, O2, Vodafone, (and so on) and they have someone named Jack on the other side of the phone who says "Sorry Mrs.Looyis, we cannot able to deal with this right now, so please can you please call again tomorrow and you can able to speak to Jack, myself again. and I will sort this for you Mrs.Looyis." We have Mrs. Louise Thomas in utter dismay at the other end of this conversation. So to retain customers like this, it is fair that TV has the last 30 seconds of a minute long advert to reiterate the fact that the people of Britain will not encounter a situation which 'Mrs. Looyis' faced and will only speak to a guy with an English / Scottish / Irish / Welsh accent. Its a totally different thing, how an English man hates the remaining accents and make a complete mickey of the rest of the UK, claiming that his own accent is the purest and the most superior of all.

In a call centre, each day is an experience in itself... especially for a Non -Brit. Like the other day I had this call from a lady who had a pleasant voice but her mannerisms and political correctness went out of the window, too far for redemption. The following was the exact conversation.
Me: You are through to " " Vaishnavi speaking, can I have you reference number please?
Lady: [pause] Where are you from?
Me: How do you mean?
Lady: Where are you speaking from?
Me: [thinking that this is one of those calls] UK!?!!
Lady: Get me your supervisor, I cant understand a word of what you are saying!!!
Me: [pretty pissed off, but trying to help] {silence}

Lady: .... I dont have any reference number....
Me: Well, you just said it, i simple asked for your ref no, what do you not understand?
Lady: I dont have it
Me: WHy do you need the supervisor to tell that, you can tell me, can you not?
Lady: Oh You cheeky woman.....................!!!! %^&*()_ I will call again, you are not helpful..
Me: [raging] OH SURE!! Thank you, GOODBYE!!!

Well not all callers are as bad, but just one of these is enough to put you off dramatically. For someone who is quite soft spoken and clear about enunciating every word, this is not what I deserve. Surely not... I mean, to be fair she didnt even give me a chance to exhibit the fact that I am capable of helping her whatever her query was. She could be Mrs.Looyis, who knows!!!

There are callers who are so satisfied with my service that they thank me profusely. These are people who are not racial, not very particular about speaking to an english all the time. Maybe many dont realise that this world is now a Global village where whats important is the skillset you carry and whether you are capable of exhibiting this in a politically correct sense. It does not matter what you accent is for SATAN'S sake!!!!


All this cribbing is from a service provider's point of view, what about the time I would like some service for myself while i am in the UK? The call invariably gets connected to an Asian, majorly an Indian whose name would probably be Nagalakskmi who claims she is Nicole.....!!!!?????
There is an awkward hesitation when Nagalakshmi aka Nicole realises that its an Indian Accent from the UK and that she is caught..... slowly but steadily our Nicole tries to live up to her not so alleged British origins.....Well the point is, I am not very comfortable talking to a Nicole either... Half of me is tempted to go: "Hey are you not Nagalakshmi? Come on, tell me!" Its true that she tries ever so hard to sort my query for me.....and it is more than true that I dont have a trouble in she being Nagalakshmi or Nicole... But why do these people pick on something as trivial as accent.........................? It pains me.....!!!!

My friends from the different projects who are, for example African seem to be having a different attitude all together. His attitude has always been "Come on V, I couldnt be bothered about it.." I wish I had an attitude towards such calls...!! He openly tells the callers that he is from Africa and that this is a UK based call centre... If the company that recruited him has no second thoughts about his communication skills why THE HELLLLLLL do these people of Britain have?

Outsourcing is the lifeline of India's economy. Yes I am fully aware of that. What i am also aware of is the fact that the economies of US and UK is relying on India beyond redemption as the locals find these jobs to be derogatory to their dignity or simply, they are just lazy and over demanding. For the same price, US and UK could employ an office of 1000 Indians to do the job twice as well for peanuts. Lo and behold, these two countries have since been exceedingly role playing as a Happy Client to all out IT and ITES offices accross India. Do I blame them? No!! So many CIVIL Engineers and BIOCHEMISTRY students get employment opportunities in call centres, of course I am "SO HAPPY."..... !!!?!!!!! Well on the other hand, a lot of drop outs from colleges also have an easy source of money. A messed up biological clock, chronic sleep deprivation, diet...or the lack of it, and an apparent succesful career too. And as if this was normal, our drop outs gets promoted as team leaders....it purely amazes me! Lets just say, I am not sure how I feel about it!!


Because I am away from India, it gives me a chance to look at it from a different perspective. I feel very strongly about India being self sufficient. India putting her foot down and saying NO to outsourcing, far fetched as this may sound...Something along the lines of setting up a planning commission where 2020 should mark the end of outsourcing in India. Although its true that this would put US and UK in a fix and they may hike the salaries of all our Nagalakshmis and woo them to stay back and be Nicoles...... Good or bad, this is a deadend and the longer we endure it, the tougher it is to be self sufficient. Before you know, Nagalaksmi will have an identity crisis and feel like an outsider in her own country nor is she going to be welcomed as Nicole anyway which she is not aware of. Little does she know the difference between an american and a brit where she desperately tries an american accent thinking she is being Nicole of Essex!!


Fact is, people are people wherever they are and information will be information whoever gives it. Why the bias, why this anger? When will we become civilised from the inside? Will we ever? It pains me, but I try to tell myself that this is how humans are. This is part of the evolutionary plan, after all... We are not superior beings, far from there! We will be the reason for our own extinction, I am sure!



It ends!!!

don't say goodbye!

Maa...

Sorry for not writing sooner ma! Lets say I was meandering blissfully cherishing the memories. At times like this when i miss you the most, i reminisce. Sometimes i wonder how things would have been if you were not YOU, would I still be ME!? I seriously doubt that :-)

Your upbringing is a perfect blend of the right ingredients. You know when to switch from being firm to amenable, most of all you are an epitome of compassion and selflessness. Over the years i have cleverly mastered the skills that help you to perpetually be in the state of joy and fulfilment.

But this hasn't been easy for you, well it has been far from easy for you. In my juvenile years i know i have caused you emotional pain one too many times, but if i were to guess how hard it must have been for you i would need an extra eye because you have been ever so accomodative. Today i think if i can ever be like you, and that's how far i have gone. I owe you one ma...





If i am honest, i would admit that growing up hasn't been a great experience, but for your presence in my life. Its true that i was never behind a wealthy lifestyle and so will i be for the rest of my life, i have been the prerogative of a treasure beyond materialistic obsession, i have you and all the beautiful relationships that i embraced because of you.

Oh would you tell me and and truth should it be, didn't you have 8 hands when I was young? Here i am, on my own walking on the path you once took managing the house and to my utter disbelief i find it HARD!!! Period. With a job, you managed the house (himalayan task that one) you manged us (OOOFFFF!!!!!!). Whenever i come back home from work tired and i walk into the kitchen only to find it more like a *d-i-s-a-s-t-e-r* i think about you, and i immedietely wonder if you had 8 hands that helped you multi-task with no compromise to quality. I regain this strength from nowhere and viola, the task becomes infinitesimle! :) :) Oh yes I owe you one!


What is it that makes you so strong? How were you able to endure difficult times and redeem yourself to prosperity ever so gracefully? HOW ma? I have grown old now, old enough to understand the complexities of life and life itself, time does test me every now and then and i have been fairly succesful in not giving in. Were you within me? Were you the one that would not give up? Is it the same hand i held as a toddler that has helped me cross the roads of life? Is it the same magical lap i rested which restored my craziness when i'd been down and gloomy? Was it you all along ma?


I see nowadays that we swap places, now that you are becoming a child to me, i tell you things you are not aware of and you listen to me intently with those keen eyes gleaming at me with pride and joy. Are you really listening to me or are you seeing through me ma? Are you falling in love with my voice and eyes as i speak like i used to when you tell me bedtime stories? Are you ma? :) Because i know you are not listening!! :-) and i never did too...





Would i ever change anything? Maybe! MAybe i would go back and erace all the bad memories or maybe i wont. Maybe its just meant to be or maybe not. But i know now, i feel whole, i feel at peace most of all, i feel you..... I feel you in me ma! I owe you one! :) I know you are there for me!
I may tell you or I MAY NEVER .... but This is to us! To this life together! :) Which could not be without YOU!!

rest in peace ... through your voice, there will be resurrection

Malaysia Vasudevan...15.o6.1944 to 20.02.2011

Thought provoking!!

Which? a short film by OPIUM

On taking drugs

She often encounters members of the 'cool and high' community...
well, they think they are cool, she would kill to concur, oh what irony!
and they are on an all time 'high'..

One too many times she bumps into one or two members of this community and they woo her with their arsenal !!! a very powerful one that!

She would if her conscience permits her to, but her conscience is as stubborn as herself.

On taking drugs.... members from the community talk about the state of ecstatcy one goes to while having a dose of ecstacy... and members also point out the miserable life she has without ever trying it out..

She would go - "I do have a miserable life, Yes! But atleast I will LIVE TO TELL THE TALE!!!!"

On taking drugs!!....

Breaking the silence!

She hasn't been writing for a while owing to the lack of inspiration. But something that came to her mind this morning seemed worth penning down.

Feed thy rationale,
Oppression would starve to death.

Feed thy compassion,
Animosity would starve to death.

Feed thy conviction,
Mediocrity would starve to death.

Feed thy diligence,
Indifference would starve to death.

Feed thy vigor,
Lethargy would starve to death.

Feed thy intellect,
Ignorance would starve to death.

Feed thy self with the contrary,
HUMANITY would starve to death.


It is written by her 'sick of this materialistic world' self.

December 25, 1876 – September 11, 1948 - A life one would 'kill' for.

Few individuals succesfully alter the course of history.
Fewer still modify the map of the world.
Hardly anyone can be credited with creating a nation.

......Mohammad Ali Jinnah did all three.

Reverie...

Gosh!! She almost missed it!!

Thanks to an appetite that is quite indistinct.

If not for these cravings for some dessert at midnight,

She would have missed some overwhelming moments of delight.

Far from real the sight she is witnessing

If there ever is heaven, she'd bet it is anything as pleasing

Tottering through the hallway in hopes to admire,

the sceanic view that'll make her system go haywire!!

On the other side of the locked door lies a surprise.

One so surreal that she would hardly surmise.

As the adrenalin makes sure the excitement is at its peak,

She steps out of the door and a wee fractal touches her cheek.

Her joy knows no bounds, emotions loud, body numb.

willing to forgo worldly pleasures, to this beauty she will succumb.

An hour of laughter, joy, tears and agony, she battles with her senses,

trying to unwillingly get over these overriding emotional turbulences.

As if trapped in a moment she desires to be eternally,

unperturbed and oblivious she floats in her reverie!!

Guess, if you can, and choose, if you dare.

She wakes up to a beautiful morning, smiling and chuffed about yet another day to live learn and linger. Coffee tastes perfect with the right mixture of milk, sugar and caffaine, ah that does not happen everyday or does it? She gets dressed and leaves home on a high, walking ambitiously towards a multi storied state of the art building. She is a hard worker and seldom misses work. She sees her friends, beaming with joy like herself, after all, it takes a lot of potential and talent to work for companies with international repute, that which pays a big fat cheque every month catering to the luxury of an exhorbitant flat, a car, and a content family with loads of money to spare on the other end of a lavish lifestyle!! Fortunate few eh!? There's more, it is indeed a question of dignity and self gratifying societal status. The benefits are endless and it grows exponentially.

She keeps marching toward the building when she hears her cell phone ring! Technology keeps everything connected, although it gives a damn about whether you want to be connected at the first place! Such are the laws of a technological dependence. It is a friend who called to invite her over for a tea party which she elegantly refuses and goes straight to her work place on the street right next to the multi storied state of the art building. You see, she does not conform to the 'fortunate few' dignified cartel as her friends do.

It is simply the choice she made to not attend the tea party. Where she could do one or more of things that she will rejoice. As she is about to enter the work place she is joined by her colleagues who giggle about a text message and dote over a latest wallpaper of a music band. These are school kids spending their vacation quite lucratively. She removes her over coat and her neatly pressed uniform becomes visible. She is a part time general assistant at a super market. All she has to do is arrange and rearrange shelves with goods and be there for a customer who is lost or looking for something. At times, pay heed to an outrageous and dissatisfied customer with a smile and sincere apology. Thanks to her Masters Degree in a reputed university, her indigenous HR skills are quite put to use. This is just a four hour task but it is one hell of a workout!

A loud honk startles her while she was lost day dreaming. Quickly checking for her uniform only to be fooled by her illusion. She runs towards the multi storied building and to the super market's customer desk to enquire about her application for a job which technically even a school kid would reject, she knew what was coming. Almost as if she lived this moment an instant ago and is reliving it now. So the customer desk's answer does not shock her, it rather amuses her. "While you demonstrated some of the skills we’re looking for, there were other candidates who were a closer match for the role. Therefore, we regret to inform you that we won’t be progressing your application any further on this occasion. Should you wish to receive feedback, please do not hesitate to contact the HR Resourcing department. We would like to take this opportunity to thank you for your interest in furthering your career and for the time you’ve taken with your application." So much for arranging shelves and getting yelled at by customers! Long live the flourishing economy!!

Movies have always fascinated her and she comes from the clan that calls in sick to the college office for watching a movie that just released. It has often become quite a nightmare when it comes to arranging 'necessary funds' for buying tickets and other nibbles for a complete movie experience. Sadly, movies at Cinema have now become one of the previleges of being the 'fortunate few' that she often wonders if it was a wise decision to not take up a place in this undisputable faction?!! Not after she enrolled to volunteer at a cinema that not just lets her watch films that she usher the customers in to but EVERY SINGLE MOVIE AT THE CINEMA and HOW MANY EVER TIMES SHE WANTS!! Beat that!! This apart, she indulges in the complete movie experience with discounted perks at the cafe. She thinks, she'd rather be here watch all the movies, meet the 'whos's who' at the premier than stand out of the cinema and gape at the posters with the mouth wide open, feel sad and pressed for time.
There are people like her, who watch movies out of passion and love for acting and the mere experience and there are others who watch movies as a means to get out of the four walls of a hospital. Yes, she helps those people who are not like us but are special in more than one way. She takes certain special people to cinemas to watch the movie of their choice and catch up on a heated discussion over a hot cuppa coffee at a cafe. Wow that is one hell of an experience she wonders!! After which she gets home, and they....to the hospital. One of the reasons why she had to say NO to the tea party.

She has to stop somewhere before she gets home to her most favourite person. Wondering if she could ever give back the world that has given her enough to be content, she did a bit of research online and ended up at the website of a reputed charity organisation who say "We are a volunteer-led humanitarian organisation that helps people in crisis, whoever and wherever they are.We enable vulnerable people at home and overseas to prepare for and respond to emergencies in their own communities. And when the crisis is over, we help people recover and move on with their lives." Being able to help someone by gaining expertise in ERT, being an ordinary person yet be able to save someone's life, gain experience in first aid, medical equipment, refugee services, shop volunteering et al and be directly or indirectly the impetus behind a good deed. She decided that moment that she would be part of this organisation and do her bit in thanking the world. She is greeted at the regional branch of the organisation with a smile that is perennial and infectious. These people are achievers, they all have their own reasons to be volunteering for a noble cause, but for herself, it is a rather simple reason, to make a difference, to BE the difference.

She has to walk past couple of children's parks on the way home. She falls in love with the innocence and the immaculate smile of the children that it would have been hours before she knows it. Once she asked a kid who almost resembled the 'angel like cartoon characters' that what motivates the kid to visit the park everyday? To which the kid replied, i love to watch the birds, i love it when they swim in the pond or fly in the sky. She couldn't agree more, apart from the kids at the park, the only other thing that fascinates her the most was these birds both migratory and native. She fails to recollect their names so she links it to some prominent thing that she would not otherwise forget and somehow link the bird and the thing in a funny way. One example would be the way she remembered the bird magpie. The linking word here was to imagine Magpie playing a BAG PIper. Easy now isn't it!? :-)
But these birds as humans do not have rights to protect themselves but thankfully there are organisations to take care of them or protect them from becoming extinct or to just look out for a bird to say the least. She would not let go of an opportunity to contribute to this too. The organisation she got involved with is quite the type she liked!! The members of the organisation are filled with dedication that is so overwhelming. The process of lending a helping hand is quite simple. Just a casual chat and you are handed a bag full of badges with pictures of variety of birds on each badge. So she walks up to the kids at the park, show them the badges and ask the kids to pick one, as she explains the unique characteristics of each bird she also tells how each kid could save the birds by buying the badge. That way the kids are never going to forget their favourite birds ans she would raise some funds albeit trivial per badge but quite a bit in the broader sense.

She has been eyeing the community centre lately where there are classes for singing and dancing. She would soon be going and enrolling herself there. And the library has such a repository of books that amazes her. She is glued on to some book or the other. Yet she feels she isn't doing enough!

She gets thoughtful on and off about the choice she has made. Does she have the luxury of the fortunate few? Does she enjoy a big fat cheque every month catering to the luxury of an exhorbitant flat, a car, and a content family with loads of money to spare on the other end of a lavish lifestyle!! The pride and self gratifying societal status. She does not!! But is she happy? Hell YEAH!!!

Sensational Talent

Pranav Mistry born in 1981 in Palanpur, India is one of the inventors of SixthSense. He is a research assistant and a PhD candidate at MIT Media Lab. SixthSense has recently attracted global attention. Among some of his previous work, Pranav has invented Mouseless - an invisible computer mouse; intelligent sticky notes that can be searched, located and can send reminders and messages; a pen that can draw in 3D; and a public map that can act as Google of physical world. Pranav holds a Master in Media Arts and Sciences from MIT and Master of Design from Industrial Design Center, IIT Bombay besides his Bachelor degree in Computer Engineering from Nirma Institute Of Technology, Ahmedabad. Pranav’s research interests include Ubiquitous computing, Gestural and Tangible Interaction, AI, Augmented reality, Machine vision, Collective intelligence and Robotics.

Sixth Sense was awarded the 2009 Invention Award by Popular Science. Pranav also won Young Innovator Award TR35 by Technology Review. In 2010, he was named to Creativity Magazine's Creativity 50. Mistry has been called "one of ten, best inventors in the world right now" by Chris Anderson.

The promised release of all the code as open source has not happened as of November 2010 and no version of the Sixth Sense products have been produced.

BITS Pilani Alumni - CM of Maharashtra

Prithviraj Chavan ('62-'67) named the new Chief Minister of Maharashtra]

How many more does it take to actually make a difference!?

My brown skin baby they take him away

My brown skin baby they take him away

As a young preacher I used to ride

A quiet pony round the country side

In a native camp I’ll never forget

A young black mother who’s cheeks all wet

My brown skin baby they take him away

Between her songs I heard her say

Police’s been taken my baby away

From white man, boss, the baby I have

Why he let him take baby away

My brown skin baby they take him away

To a children’s home a baby came

With new clothes on and a new name

Day and night he would always say

Oh mummy, mummy why they take me away!?

My brown skin baby they take him away

The child grew up and had to go

From a mission home that he loved so

To find his mother he tried in vain

Upon this earth they never met again

My brown skin baby they take him away.....

Bob Randall, is a member of the Stolen Generations and former Indegenous person of the year. He is credited with bringing to light the issue of forced removal of Aboriginal children from their families, in 1970. His song, "My Brown Skin Baby They Take Him Away," written at the time, is described as an "anthem" for the Stolen Generations.

Uncle Bob Randall was born around 1927 in the bush of the Central Desert region of the Northern Territory (NT), Australia. He is a“Tjilpi” (special teaching uncle) of the Yankunytjatjara Nation and one of the listed traditional keepers of the great monolith, Uluru. At about age 7, Bob was taken away from his mother and family under government policy which forcibly removed all half-caste (half-Aboriginal) children from their families.

He was one of thousands of Aboriginal children who were placed in institutions throughout Australia and came to be known as the “Stolen Generation.” Like so many, he grew up alone, away from his family, and never saw his mother again. He was taken to a receiving home for indigenous children in Alice Springs, NT, then later was moved to Croker Island Reservation in Arnhem Land where he, like the other children, was given a new identity and birth date.

No records were kept of the Aboriginal nation, family name, or identity of the Aboriginal children who were stolen. Young Bob was kept in government institutions until he was twenty when he, with new wife and baby, was banished for questioning white authorities. He moved to Darwin and later to Adelaide,South Australia, working, studying, and looking for his family and country of belonging. After many years of heart-wrenching searches, he found his roots and returned to his mother’s country where he lives today at Mutitjulu Community beside Uluru (Ayers Rock).

In 2006, Uncle Bob co-produced and narrated the award-winning documentary, “Kanyini.” “Kanyini” was voted "best documentary" at the London Australian Film Festival 2007, winner of the “Inside Film Independent Spirit Award”, and winner of the Discovery Channel Best Documentary Award in 2006. Uncle Bob continues to write and teach throughout the world, presenting teachings based on the Anangu (central desert Aboriginal nation) “Kanyini” principles of caring for the environment and each other with unconditional love and responsibility. His tirelessdedication calls indigenous people to reclaim their Aboriginal identities and re-gain lives of purpose, so that the relevance of ancient wisdom to modern living is understood. Uncle Bob Randall is a living bridge between cultures and between world nations, creating lines of understanding so that indigenous and non-indigenous people can live and learn together, heal the past through shared experience in the present, sharing a way of being that allows us, once again, to live in oneness and harmony with each other and all things.

For this catastrophe, Kevin Rudd Says SORRY to the ABORIGINES for stealing their children and trying to isolate them.