Tuesday, July 23, 2013

COSMOS part 2


These magical moments don’t happen very often these days.

My brother and I are ardent fans of Carl Sagan and his edifying video series called the COSMOS. I think I can safely say that my brother is more than just a fan of COSMOS, as he has it on his TV, computer, mobile phone - you name it!

It is undeniably a fantastic feeling to hear Carl narrate about the mystery of nature, its enormity, beauty and the infinite joy one receives while pursuing it and yet feel the yearning to want to know more.

Our joy knew no bounds when we heard a sequel of COSMOS narrated by the ingenious Neil Degrasse Tyson is expected to release sometime in 2014. As if the news wasn’t enticing enough, watching this trailer only made the wait painstakingly longer.


During a casual phone conversation my brother and I had  last evening, he said the most amazing thing to me. It is true that growing up, we get carried away with our routines too much to pause, take stock and appreciate small pleasures such as this. But I could not have missed this even on a sleepy conversation.

What he told me made me feel great about myself and made my whole life worthwhile.

Before I quote our conversation, I would like to quote Sagan’s very own pale blue dot – only to emphasize the gravitas and profundity of what ensues. 


From this distant vantage point, the Earth might not seem of any particular interest. But for us, it's different. Consider again that dot. That's here. That's home. That's us.

On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every "superstar," every "supreme leader," every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there – on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam.

The Earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena. Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors so that in glory and triumph they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot. Think of the endless cruelties visited by the inhabitants of one corner of this pixel on the scarcely distinguishable inhabitants of some other corner. How frequent their misunderstandings, how eager they are to kill one another, how fervent their hatreds.

Our posturing, our imagined self-importance, the delusion that we have some privileged position in the universe, are challenged by this point of pale light. Our planet is a lonely speck in the great enveloping cosmic dark. In our obscurity – in all this vastness – there is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to save us from ourselves.

The Earth is the only world known, so far, to harbor life. There is nowhere else, at least in the near future, to which our species could migrate. Visit, yes. Settle, not yet. Like it or not, for the moment, the Earth is where we make our stand. It has been said that astronomy is a humbling and character-building experience. There is perhaps no better demonstration of the folly of human conceits than this distant image of our tiny world. To me, it underscores our responsibility to deal more kindly with one another and to preserve and cherish the pale blue dot, the only home we've ever known.


Me: I can’t wait for COSMOS II to release.
Brother: Yes, it is slated to release sometime 2014.
Me: But it feels like too long a wait. What if something happens to me by that time, what if I die?
Brother: Hmm! Then, you will conform to the cosmos, as your atoms would still be around. And what’s more, the video series will have Tyson talking about YOU!


*Yes, I repeat! This made me feel great about myself and made my whole life worthwhile.*

Thursday, April 25, 2013

EUPHORIA

 

NIZHALOVIYAM's photostream

NIZHALOVIYAM's photostream

NIZHALOVIYAM's photostream

NIZHALOVIYAM's photostream


A perfect world, moments of joy

to upkeep the pursuit called life,

to laugh at silly things

let yourself be a child?


This joyous oblivion

about life’s misgivings

we shall wait this out

- A fate so unforgiving


Ominous is how the future seems

in it I am probably not free!

For this moment is promising,

and Euphoric is how I shall be.
  










photo credits to: Sasikumar @ http://www.flickr.com/photos/sasiphosgraphos/

Sunday, April 7, 2013

Introduction to Nirmukta

Ultimately, we dream of a world where Reason rules and Humanism prevails !

Friday, November 16, 2012

I am fine, just let me be!



The world is spinning non-stop
People have no time
In my mind there is a block
Crammed with sorrow n pain

I shun away from the thought
But it gets the better of me
How does one fix the spirit?
That’s engulfed by misery

Everyday I wake up in hope
‘Today will be a new day’
I must be kidding myself
For I am yet to see that day

So what if I am strange n unique
I can have friends too
Before you complain n critique
Won’t you check if it’s true?

Should I just stop trying?
Find solace in solitude?
I can’t stop pondering
If I should move on or brood

I keep busy all the time
So I get used to my company
At times I falter and fail
Succumb to the cursed epiphany

So I feel lost, and left behind
That I end up questioning again
Is it my fault I am blind?
That you seek pleasure in my pain?

Don’t laugh at me, it hurts
For I am only blind by sight
But count on me to be the same
Whether you are black or white!

Thursday, September 27, 2012

CREED



A moment of reverence, a lifetime of creed
Trapped in the reverie, I refuse to be free!

The elegance you boast
The audacity you possess
is hope to the vanquished,
and an impetus to progress

The startling endurance, the vivid lure
with not a touch of vanity but grace
You stare at me, looking demure
so alluring that I could just embrace.

I refuse to blink, for I am in awe
of your blushing raw sensuality.
That I seek solace in your bosom
serenading ballads of thy beauty.

If words could express what I feel
I may very well be a lover
But from expressing I recede
as I wish to be in love forever

A moment of reverence, a lifetime of creed
Trapped in the reverie, and delighted to be!

Saturday, August 18, 2012

Melancholy and Me!



When she sits by the window
pondering over life so intently.
I wonder what she thinks,
looking adrift yet nonchalantly!

Is she thinking about herself?
Or is something bothering her?
Is she looking for an answer?
Or does she fail to infer?

In life there are glitches too many.
To gauge these would be too hard
What could a bewildered mind do;
than reconcile with a life that’s marred?

Lost in a conundrum she gasps!
Split between emotions she sighs!
Beaten by the blues she moans!
Distressed by this outrage she cries!

Dazed by this thought battle
she jumps up in the hope to flee,
But she knows she can’t refute
A life that cries “melancholy and me”




Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Talk to me, I don’t bite!


Trust me, I really don’t! Even if I hate you, the farthest I’d go is probably not respond but I DO NOT and I mean, I DO NOT Ever BITE!

For those of you hoping to give my blog a try for the first time, thanks, let me set the expectations right as far as this post is concerned. This is not a feminist harangue where I pour out my anguish over the ubiquitous ‘quasi self-proclaimed intellectual’ - idiotic system that’s victimized me. This is a record of all that I wished I had as a child, as an adult and wish to have as I age. This is my observation of how life has been, is and will be for a good-looking young girl who is quite smart and intrepid, someone who has managed to achieve recognition surpassing clichés and chugging on to upkeep such a standing.

Bubble reputation:

Curiously, in my long pointless life I have had the delight of making some extraordinary acquaintances. The conversations I’ve had with them and moments of profound silences has moved me so much that it gives me a distant faith in humanity.

I on the other hand, would like to think; I have made some lasting impression on people – good AND bad. Aye ok, mostly bad. My reputation in the ‘making impression’ department isn’t quite sophisticated. It lasts as long as a bubble – thankfully not in the canon’s mouth.

Never have I made a positive – LASTING impression because I seem to come across exactly as someone who you don’t want to see / know. Even if the initial conversation makes an impression, it does not last longer and the reasons for it are many. The comments I’ve had when I have tried to get through to somebody by the use of my keenness / knowledge are that; I am trying too hard, I never let anyone else speak, I am so bossy, I am pretty so I wont stop showing off, I am such a flop.

I have reluctantly stopped trying for I had to choose between leaving an impression and creating havoc.


I am good at something, I just happen to be good looking too.

I learn very quickly that I surprise myself sometimes. I prefer perfecting things and I am pretty personal about things I know I am capable of, unless situation warrants such an expertise. It pains me when my skill is attributed to my looks that I have gone to great lengths in proving this world wrong. I feel so cheated of my standpoint in this world that it is excruciatingly humiliating.
Why is it so easy for people to say; 
“Oh, I am sure you’re the boss’s favorite, he always takes your opinion!” or 
“So what is it this time you’re going to show off with? A new book you read or a movie?” or 
“so how many boy friends do you have, now that you are the new girl in the office?” or 
classic; just walk out on me!


Intimidating or merely stating?

Most of the interviews I have attended have had mixed responses.  I do not let it bother me much until I had access to some information that infuriated the last cell in my body!
One guy who interviewed me didn’t want to select me because apparently I intimidated him! Are you for real?
I was merely stating that I am capable of doing the job, that’s what you do in the interview, showcase / show off what you’re good at. I cannot begin to tell you how I desperately try and strike a balance between modesty and conviction. I cringe when I am put in a spot with something I am good at. It’s the same for situations when I have to tell the world I am good at something; I’d have my own time in getting prepped up for it and here’s how I do it; I squirm, quail, cry, choose to not do it and calculate the repercussions and reluctantly take it up in the hope of concealing most of them.
So if I intimidate you, I am not sorry! You probably need to develop some spine.

It’s cool to be my friend, but being my friend to be cool?

Ever been the popular girl who hits it off with everyone with the use of her wits and ‘hey, I make a good friend’ attitude? I have! ALWAYS!
Ok before I lead you to believe that I am someone who’s got numerous friends, I’ll stop to tell you I am not! I have no friends. Very few but GOOD friends!

Do they think its cool to be my friend? Hell yes! Do they hang around with me so they can be cool? Nope!

Most of my friends barely talk to me and we have this astonishing propensity of picking up from where we left the last time we spoke albeit our memory would fail us. We simply end up feeling SO PLEASED at the end of such a conversation and go on without talking to each other for another long period. We are fine with it. Now THAT is cool.

Imagine being trailed around just to have the benefits (whatever they are) of being friends with me? I am not so shallow. And my express exchange about how I do not want them shadowing me pisses them off, naturally. So what they do to mend their mortified self? Simple! They call me names J and make it very public so others can know too. How altruistic of them!

I am OK to not belong, stop making a big deal out of it.

You know, I do not understand! I just don’t get how not wanting to belong is debauched!!!
I do not want to belong and that’s an impeccably thought out choice so please let me be the judge. When I was in school, girls in my class thought I had really short hair and I only talk to boys so they would refuse talking to me and inducting me into the girl groups. I was fine with it because the things they discussed BORED me. Sorry girls, you really were very boring. Now you may wonder that’s just me in rejection and talked to boys because I was sad girls wouldn’t take me onboard.
No actually, I spoke to boys because they were always ‘in the moment’ unprejudiced and understood sports. That’s all I needed to pastime. Sports! Now why I had short hair is just something to have blame the sun for.

At workplace I am looked at as .. well … you know… oh come on! Let it be! WEIRD what else? It’s fascinating how, without uttering a word I am perceived as many things that are just simply not ‘me’! I am lost, looking for my own identity. And I sit here speculating why I took on this purposeless self-journey!


Yes I am weird, but you’re sick.
 
But all is not lost as I manage to congregate myself when I am on the brink of losing sanity.  And I point the finger back to you for trapping me and making me feel bereft of a normal life!

I may be weird, but you are sick to make such unsubstantiated judgments about me! You need treatment!

If it is obvious, why overstate it to make a conversation?

Haha this is the best part! Ever been in a group where some people get so colossally insecure about brief pauses during a chat and fill it up with absolute gobbledygook?

My life is filled with such individuals. And they are so unbelievably exasperating! And this is not just in an office setup but life in general.

I think savoring silences is an art, a profound sense of gratification. (Right ok call me weird just this once.) But truly, the best part of a good conversation is being able to enjoy the pauses, as opposed to chewing someone’s ears off with aimless and hollow words!

I'd rather appreciate the ones for not saying that extra word just to keep company than the ones tiring me with the obviousness.


So there goes my observation about life, people and challenges.i am pretty sure this is not an exhaustive list considering we live in a crazy world, I end this in the hope that the list does not grow like an exponential function.

Saturday, June 23, 2012

Arjun - the quintessence of companionship


I do wonder every now and then, if my life would be any different, had I known this young man personally.
I do not know Arjun, I have not spoken to him, yet; I have this insatiable wish that I did. Arjun was not just another kid in the block, who went to school, played the guitar and had a bunch of friends. He was all that and more. Arjun – a kid, a brother, a musician, a friend, a son and a great guy!!

Ever felt the after-taste of a tea that lingers hours after drinking a cup? To me, Arjun is that sweet after-taste that has been lingering in my mind years after his passing. He is this distant actuality that persuades me to love and live this life in a certain way – the Arjun way! We can all but hope to be loved and respected by people around us. But this guy, simply by being himself, has managed to win over thousands of friends / fans / followers who confide in him, swear by him and more than anything; BE THERE FOR HIM!
I, in this lifetime, could not reach half as far as he has even with twice as much effort.

A humble but confident young man who taught himself to play the guitar and transcended into becoming this amazing guitarist / musician has stolen many hearts and inspired many more. Be it the Blues of Clapton, or solos of Petrucci; Arjun was thoroughly MAGICAL. In my opinion, Arjun and his band (ESION then, TWKC now and forever) were successful in bringing about a paradigm shift in perspectives of rock music and bands. They were just a group of boys who were extremely talented and irrepressibly music loving.

His passion for art, dance, theatre and paintings conformed to the myriad of interests this talented young man had. On 27th of March 2009, at 19 Arjun passed away in a road accident leaving behind an enormous vacuum that was profoundly numbing and utterly devastating. I can only imagine what people he knew, he loved would have felt like. A sense of irreplaceable void and perpetual turmoil surmounts my mind when I think about the many instances my path has crossed Arjun’s and how close I was to befriend a magnificent man. Sigh.

After this dreadful incident, what I have learnt from the plethora of news articles, blog posts and facebook feeds is that, there aren’t many people around in this world like Arjun and hence they become very dearer to our hearts. To keep his energy, his compassion and the man himself ALIVE, family and friends joined together to have an annual musical event as a tribute to Arjun and all that he believes in. On the 14th of July, the stage is set for the fourth consecutive year where we hope to raise funds to sponsor an ambulance that is manned 24x7 and is available for all emergencies on road.

This apart, through the trust in the name of Arjun, we’ve been involved in some earnest charitable activities and scholarships for young students to pursue their dreams in the field of art.

The thought of Arjun, is as close to my heart as the hope of being by his side and seeing the world the way he sees it. Tranquil. I only hope I have done justice in my attempt to express my admiration for my little brother. Walk by his side and experience his companionship albeit intellectually and hope this lasts for eternity.

Arjun, you are to me, what music was for you.



And in Sharad’s own words - To yesterday's companionship and tomorrow's reunion, Salut!

Monday, June 11, 2012

Mahamudra - The Maha disappointing Sunday evening!

Sunday morning seemed a bit unwelcoming as I was feeling a bit under the weather, thanks to I-don't-know-what-I-ate-last-night's meal I was not looking forward to the day at all. We had already planned a dinner outing as an excuse to celebrating my birthday that went by 3 days ago! Owing to this ill health, I was hoping not to experiment with anything  pertaining to food. As luck would have it, this outing had to be done or I would disappoint a whole bunch of people so I resorted to the just-go-with-the-flow attitude!

My brother had been to a restaurant sometime in the past month and he could not help but mention about the kinda food they served and how delicious it was; too many times to miss! So quite comfortably we decided we would visit this restaurant in Mylapore called Mahamudra and see if it is really worth all the praise from my brother.

I have always had a problem with restaurants / antique shops etc. that claim to have "self proclaimed idiosyncrasies" of selling 'authentic-indian' or 'ethnic' or 'earthy' or 'traditional' COME ON!! You surely can do better than that! What is so 'Indian' about you when you sell a penny worth material at the cost of an unaffordable / unfounded currency with all these histrionic taglines attached to it, I deeply wonder. You won't see me buy from what's name such as "FAB INDIA", "DAKSHIN CHITRA" "KALPASTREE" and all those shenanagans, that's for sure!

So we find a place and start off with the infamous vadai and go with their top two choices as suggested by the waiter!


I have tasted better Vadais at home. In fact my mother had made the exact version of Vazhaipoo Vadai (Picture 2) which I thought was yumm and found the Mahamudra version of it to be dry and not so jaw-friendly! The first one was, again, dry and impeccably STIFF!!^&*!@#$.. I don't recommend it at all.

Next we moved to the main course, the one I was looking forward to as I had ordered 'Pesarattu' and I hadn't had it in a long time. In line with my health status the Pesarattu was also very bland; it seriously lacked life. For starters it had not a hint of salt and was served cold. So far my evening seemed to have shaped very well I thought. So shamelessly I ogled at the other dishes on the table hoping I'd accumulate a fair share and get away with not having mine at all.


My mum had ordered Mahamudra special which is "two dosas, one stuffed with a medley of vegetables and the other slathered with old-fashioned spicy ‘gun-powder' perked up with well-roasted cashew nuts.".. as you would have read from Shonali's article. This was by far the tastiest of all food items we had ordered. PS- It did not have cashew nuts.

By now my brother's face had started to sulk because I could no longer pretend to like my dish and had eaten up half of my mum's. In that very instant I checked on what he had ordered and that was the 'Red rice appam' which looked curiously appetising.

It was a decent dish, it didn't blow me away! Although I must admit it's cost did. For a dish that costs INR 225 simply because its made from red rice, I was gutted. The ishtew was scanty and could have been warmer.
And the other dishes we ordered were Topi Uttapam and Ulundu Paniyaram. They were, again, so so. The Paniyaram needed a wee bit of steam on the insides as they were visually doughy.
After having ransacked the menu for some more time we did a bit of trial-error choosing certain dishes; half of them were not available and the rest we didn't particularly like. So we made our final move to the infamous dessert. I had mentioned before that my brother could not stop saying how awesome the dishes were, well, he was particularly talking about just one of the dishes; the Carrot Halwa. And Carrot Halwa was what we ordered.
Apologies for the blur. I was split between clicking the photo and eating it. As I was hoping this would be THE DISH we were all waiting for. As i was just about finishing the Paniyaram, my brother had started eating it already and I looked at him with such excitement thinking 'after all the fiasco, its all justified at the end.' Apparently NOT! The Halwa didn't taste half as good as last time, said my brother. And it must be true as he barely has anything good to say about food items he orders in restaurants and needless to say that his unprecedented memory is not very helpful in this regard either. So on the whole, it was a bad call to go to Mahamudra.

A few observations at the restaurant:

1) The waiter who served us had a very 'jumpy' attitude about himself that he would recommend ALL the dishes from the menu and mean it!
2) He also was not so gentlemanly as he brushed past the ladies in my table including myself when there was sufficient space around us.
3) He would offer to place the plates in front of my brother not by standing beside him but by standing beside me stretching in a hope to get a bit of contact perhaps? #SHAME ON HIM.
4) We had ordered 3 seasonal juices costing INR 120 each and my mum was the chosen one to find a hair strand in her glass!! *APPLAUSE EVERYONE* The waiter offered to exchange it for us with with an additional request from us to add some ice cubes in it. (The drink was called "SUMMER COOL" they atleast got the summer part of it right!) Ha!!

5) After all this, we had asked for finger bowls to which the waiter said, "No hot water Sir, sorry!" and gave all of us but my brother a bowl of cold water with a piece of lemon in it. After a while when my brother asked for his bowl to ANOTHER waiter, he offered him a perfect finger bowl :-)
Maybe, our waiter was gutted that we didn't go with his choice of ordering the entire menu card. Or perhaps he thought we didn't deserve to wash our hands in warm water :-)
6) A dish in the menu card that I found funny


7) They seemed to take pride in their 'food from the backyard' cuisine and lived up to serving most of them. The price leaves one skeptical though.

THE BILL: I rest my case.


Will I visit / recommend this place to anyone? Ha! Whaddya think!???

Saturday, March 17, 2012

25? 40? 60?

It is too giant a leap from -3 degree C to 38 degree C for me to fathom. In order to keep myself hydrated, I can’t help but make sure I have abundant liquid intake.

It being a very sunny afternoon, I stopped at the tender coconut roadside trolley to quench my desperate thirst. I requested a sizable one with plenty of coconut water and the vendor gladly cut me one. I asked him how much I owed him and he said “30 rupees madam!” OK, does culture shock work the other way round? For I believe I was in for a shock when he said I owed him 30 rupees. There were a couple of others sipping their tender coconut in a straw that’s been left out in the open and that’s how it’s always been. I wondered if the straw was the passage to the goodness of coconut water, or was it a passage to the multitude of prehistorically accumulated unidentified unhealthy things?!!

I scanned across the road as I realized I have got more than I bargained for, with all the additional goodness the straw had to offer. This shop was located right outside the infamous ‘Café coffee day’ where the elite spend hours sipping their iced eskimos and tropical icebergs with endless conversation and irrepressible love for one another, unmindful, as if in the state of an addictive ‘caffeine high’.

Reeling back to reality, I coughed up when an unidentified tiny thing got stuck in my throat. I told myself, if I (yes, I wish I could say No to my friends who call me to this cursed place) could pay 200 rupees for a coffee that has more ice than coffee, and tastes nothing like coffee, I sure as hell could pay 30 rupees to this poor coconut water vendor. After all, economy is all about demand and supply. Content with my gesture, I carried on in my bike, peace be upon it!

About 30 – 40 minutes later I reached my intended destination feeling thirsty again. Chennai’s RUSSIAN CENTRE OF SCIENCE AND CULTURE was where I reached to watch a Hungarian film. There was a small coffee shop that served Nescafe and Nestea and also had a refrigerator that was stocked with cold drinks like Slice Pet Bottle, Pepsi Can and the like. While scanning the shop I also glanced their menu card that read as follows:

Coffee – Rs20

Tea – Rs20

Cold Drinks – Rs40; and other items that were available in the card but not in the shop.

I, like a genius thought the Rs40 cold drink would be the 1.5l ones and they didn’t seem to have those. I asked for the Slice pet bottle and gave him a 100-rupee note. The cap read: MAXIMUN RETAIL PRICE Rs25 so I was expecting a balance of Rs75. The man who took my money was not sure how much I owed him, which baffled me because the cap clearly says 25 rupees. Anyway I waited for him to double check with his colleague who said something that I am still angry about. He said the price of that tiny slice pet bottle which has an MRP of Rs25 is actually Rs60. Either he is trying to exploit me or he is plain stupid. Its like buying a 25 rupee note for rupees 60; it does not add up.

a) It is not Rs25

b) It is not Rs40 according to the menu card

It was infact Rs60. So I asked him how could it be as it says Rs25 on the product? He says: “Madam, restaurant madam.”

Obviously I did not buy it.

While on my way home, I stopped to recharge my mobile and spotted a cool drink fridge in the shop as I was hoping to buy one since I landed at RCSC. It was a bottle of pepsi and I asked him how much it was.

He says, “with cooling 5 rupees extra madam”


What the fuck!!


To hell with ‘maximum’ retail price then?

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Opinions are like butt holes

Opinions are like butt holes,

everybody's got one.

Keeping them discreet,

is easier said than done!


Man is a curious fella,

and thus he shall be.

Probing into lives of others

putting his in jeopardy.


Having an opinion is good,

and at times healthy too.

But when it’s unsolicited,

it quite simply turns askew.


Man must strive to be noble,

just, intelligent and kind..

Opinions are like butt holes

you have yours, I'll have mine!!