I am tired

…of this pointlessly perpetual life.

of the cruelties that happen around me and how I am stripped of all powers and made too weak to do anything about it. I am tired when am being reminded that I don't deserve to be loved unless conditions apply. I am tired that love has become a thing of past!

Just so tired of being shut up and made a joke because in my misery lies your happiness aplenty.  Of the innocents being deprived of their lives because you thought their existence in this enormous universe causes your little finger some hurt. I am tired of the banalities that get shoved down my throat on a minute - by - minute basis, in television, cinema, politics, business meetings, relationships, society meetings, doctor's appointment and even during my dreams!

I am tired of being told that I am not good enough to do a job because your self confidence feeds on my insecurity - that you rather crush the last morsel of energy out of me than join me. That for whatever reasons, you'd rather a man do it than let me do it, and that I should be feeling fortunate that I was 'tried out' in the first place. I am tired of your shallow pathetic approach to life. It is helping nobody.

Tired that there are so many things about this world that bother me that I can't even keep track of all of them.

In the end, in our long pointless lives, all we want is to be a better human being. Someone who we won't regret when we look back, at the time of death. That is, if we manage to survive the differences, disparities and oppression and other irrational and unreasonable prejudices.

Am sorry for pointing out what I thought might be a food for reason, but in the process am being subject to the very hate I don't want to associated with.

Am sorry. I can't deal with all the hate that is in this world. It is choking me and pushing me to darkest corners of my mind. Am sorry, I thought I could point out what I thought might be a problem. Am tired of shouting out so loud to try and explain things to those who wouldn't even care to lend a ear. I can't deal with the hate.

So I want to end this hate marathon. I don't want to fight, nor do I want to tell anything to anyone anymore. Am just very tired. That's it!